How to parent in a way that honors your kids with Human Design -Adventures in Parenting Part 2

To read an introduction to parenting by type and to learn about Generator and Manifesting Generator children, please click [HERE] to go to Part 1.

You can learn to understand your child – who they are and what they need to stay resilient and self-reliant in the world.

All of our kids are very different from one another. It is important as a parent to know about the design of your kid so you can really see them for who they are and honor them for it.  If you’ve guided your child through their decision-making process, you can relish in the joy of watching them flourish with their own decision-making as they grow into adolescence and adulthood.

Do you want to give your kids permission to be more of who they are & less of who they’ve been told to be?  Part 2 below covers the other three energy types — Manifestors, Projectors and Reflectors.

The first step is to learn about your own Human Design Type as the parent. You need to understand how you work as well as how your kids work. Next, get the chart for your kid(s) and find out what Type they are. Learn more about your Type in our visual Guidebooks and “Human Design Types”. Look up your free chart:

Manifestor kids are here to get the ball rolling and initiate things. They have the capacity for short bursts of energy but don’t always have the energy to finish what they start. Our society often does not have the patience for people who don’t see things through from start to finish, which can lead to Manifestor children learning to work much harder than they were meant to with energy they do not have. Help them avoid that trap by teaching your Manifestor children to care for their authentic selves. 

Motor centers give initiating power to the Throat Center.
The “motor” centers are the Will, Sacral, Emotional Solar Plexus and Root Centers.
  • Sleep

Manifestor children sleep best when they are in their own aura away from the energy of others (especially generators and manifesting generators). It’s best for them to lie down for a while before they are tired to discharge any energy they picked up during the day that isn’t theirs. Lying in bed reading a book or listening to music is a great way to unwind. Manifestor children may need more sleep than others, so going to bed early and sleeping in are not unusual. If Manifestor kids wait too long to go to bed, they may have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep through the night. Help them learn how to recognize the right time to head to bed before they are exhausted to settle in for the night.

  • Power

These kids have a strong tendency towards power struggles.  Parents have an intuitive understanding that they have to control Manifestors because they know the kid will do whatever they want to do and they will not know when enough is enough.  Since they are not here to get permission from others to do anything, they may push your boundaries intentionally to see how far they can take their power. They are designed to be incredibly capable people who can easily get things started in this world when they are following their inner creative flow. As kids who often believe they don’t need anyone, they may have a tendency to do their own thing or even to run away from home if they feel like it. As difficult as it may be, rather than reacting in anger, try to have a conversation with them about the situation. Punishment, angry reactiveness and extreme forms of control will only break the child.  A balance between giving your Manifestor child their freedom while stepping in to make sure they are safe (they are children after all!) is of the utmost importance.

  • Self-trust

As difficult as it may feel, as the parent of a Manifestor you must learn to give up the reins whenever it is possible and safe to do so. Manifestor children need to strengthen their ability to trust themselves little by little.  They must learn to listen to their creative flow and urges and follow them as a child. In a world that might often tell them “no,” teaching your Manifestor child to trust him or herself is a true gift.

  • Anger

The emotional theme of a Manifestor is anger. Teaching your child effective anger management strategies such as taking some time alone, breathing exercises or channeling their anger into sports or other movement practices will be of great value to them throughout their lives. A lot of anger can be avoided when they learn to slow down and inform others who will be impacted by their actions.

  • Informing

The strategy for Manifestor is to inform the people who will be impacted by their actions (i.e “I am going outside”). They learn quickly not to tell people what they are up to because people are deeply conditioned to tell them to stop. Draw the line when your child’s experimenting is potentially dangerous…but you do need to allow them to try new things without the fear of someone trying to stop them. The more people try to stop them, the more they will learn that they must keep their actions a secret.

Of course, when you hear what they are up to, your reaction may very well often be to stop them! This is natural. However, it’s important to choose your battles wisely with your manifestor child and only stop them when they are in real danger (i.e. “No, you can’t run in the street”). Take a deep breath, master your poker face and help them evaluate their actions before they take them. Consider the people who will be affected by their actions and teach them how to slow down just long enough to inform them what will happen to avoid the angry reactions of those people. It’s important to note that informing goes both ways. Your relationship with your Manifestor kid will be much smoother if you also remember to inform them about anything that will affect them. Rather than yes or no questions, use informative statements with them.

Essential Oil Recommendation for Manifestor Children (and Parents of Manifesors!): doTERRA Breathe (respiratory blend) to dissolve anger!

Projector kids are here to be a guide to direct others. They have a beautiful innate ability to guide and manage others because of their ability to see and understand systems from a birds’ eye perspective. They are able to do this best when they’ve received an invitation from someone who will truly appreciate the gifts they have to offer.

  • Recognition, Attention and Lovability

Projector children need recognition and attention to learn how to guide appropriately. Ask them questions about their opinion such as, “what do you think about this?” or “What is your advice about this?” Even at age 3. They need to learn how to wait to be asked, and you’ll be surprised at how much insight they have. Give them a place to be heard at the dinner table. Nothing makes a projector child feel more seen and loved than when their family makes space for their insight. When they are not given space to be heard, they may try to force their guidance onto those who have not asked and may become bitter when they are not well received.

  • Inadequacy

In society, being seen as busy and hard-working can be glorified. Projectors, however, are not designed to do intense physical work, which can even include things like mowing the lawn or projects around the home. Sometimes, they can help you with this work but expecting a Projector to quickly complete this work like a generator could will only lead you to frustration or anger. Removing the expectation of your projector child doing a lot of physical labor will save you much difficulty. Projectors are not lazy, and they can help around the house. But be sure to let them know it’s okay for them to work for short periods and take as much rest as they need in the course of accomplishing their task at hand.

  • Slowing Down, Resting and Sleeping

Because Projectors need much more rest than the generator types, they may overwork themselves in order to please you, their parent. Helping them discern when enough is enough and when the best times for naps or rest are can help avoid meltdowns in the house. On a similar note, Projectors need a lot of sleep and will sometimes sleep much longer than other types in your household. Know that this is normal and allow that time and space for your little projector. Going to bed to lay down before they are tired is also important for the best quality of sleep.

  • The Power of an Invitation

When a Projector child acts before receiving an invitation can create a lot of bitterness within them. This might manifest itself as other children calling them “bossy” or “controlling,” even if the Projector really does know a better way to do things and is trying to help everyone. Teach them to value themselves enough to wait for the invitation rather than wasting their wisdom and energy on people who don’t value it. When the Projector kid spends their time doing what they love and honing in on their personal talents, kids will naturally be drawn to their aura and invite them to do things or help guide them.

When your child wants to have friends over, it can work out better if you do the inviting rather than them. As the parent of a Projector child, it’s best for you to facilitate activities for them, otherwise, they may end up pushing people away or not being heard or seen by others. On the same note, you can invite your Projector things to do things in the household or share their wisdom with the other family members.

  • Honoring Their Innate Wisdom

Projectors are here to be wise about humanity and systems. Asking them to share their wisdom honors them and gives them practice at what they’re here to do — guide others who seek their strengths.

Essential Oil Recommendation for Projector Children (and Parents of Projectors!): doTERRA Digest Zen (digestive blend) to digest all the energy, information and food they take in every day, likely in too large of pieces.

Reflector kids are here to become wise by observing their surroundings. Their life purpose is about magnifying and reflecting what is going on around them. They are mirrors for our societies, barometers of the health of their respective communities. Because of this, they are sensitive to their environments and need to be in a place that makes them feel good, with people and surroundings they enjoy being around consistently.

  • Environment and Emotional Wisdom

The most important thing to teach a Reflector child is how to process the way their environment makes them feel.  Teach them to know when they are unhappy in a particular environment that it’s okay to leave. This includes anything from a playground to a restaurant to a city or a school. Big decisions, like changing schools, are of course difficult. But if the Reflector child is consistently unhappy with their school over time, it is important to look into other options. A Reflector may become sick, withdrawn or have other issues in an environment that is not correct for them. Your child may learn early on to ignore their sensitivities if this most important aspect of their lives is not considered by their caregivers.

Sometimes, certain aspects of your child’s environment can be adjusted in order to improve their wellbeing. Working with your little Reflector and experimenting with them in what feels good and what doesn’t will make them feel cared for.

  • Recognition and Love

Along with their environment, receiving recognition is also very important for Reflector kids. They may seem clingy at times because they crave the stability of their caregivers’ auras, especially when they are younger. Helping them to recognize their gifts and strengths will allow them to see that they are in fact strong and capable standing on their own. They may need you as parents around them more than other children. They need the consistency of your aura to feel the same and feel stable. When they come home after a long day of taking in the energy of others, recognizing their unique qualities and giving them emotional and physical affection gives them space to relax in the presence of a familiar aura.

Loving your Reflector child teaches them how to love themselves. There is a lot of volatility in their energy so how they experience their energy changes a lot. Teaching them how to love themselves regardless of what is going on around them will be invaluable to them as they move through life.

  • Me/Not Me

Because Reflectors’ designs are so open, they take in and amplify the energy around them more than any type. Teaching your child that extreme emotions or impulses may be coming from other people around them rather than themselves can give them more peace as they move through the world. Especially during the difficult teenage years, Reflectors may tend to think they are “losing it.” However, they may simply be amplifying their peers’ extremes that come during that time.

  • The Gifts of Time and Patience

For all major decisions, Reflectors need about 28 days for a full lunar cycle to complete. As children, they don’t need to know all the details of a lunar transit of course, but teaching them to slow down and see how they feel throughout a cycle will help them avoid a lot of disappointment in their lives. The nature of how they experience themselves will change over the course of their cycle, and over the course of many cycles of experimenting with this, they will learn their own patterning. Pressuring them to make decisions quickly (i.e. “Just hurry up and choose something!”) is simply not right for the Reflector child.

In our fast-paced society, it can be difficult for others to understand their slower nature. It’s important to teach your Reflector child to let others know they need some time to think before making a decision. If you are a Manifesting Generator parent, especially, and are jumping around from activity to activity, you must remember to slow down and inform your Reflector kid about what you are doing. This gives them time to catch up with you. When they have consistent support you will find they become very adaptable and will be able to transition smoothly from one step to the next.

  • Sleep and Rest

Help your Reflector child to recognize when enough is enough. Naps are important to avoid major meltdowns during the day. It’s also helpful for them to get into bed before they are tired to discharge all of the excess energy they’ve picked up during the day.

Essential Oil Recommendation for Reflector Children (and Parents of Reflectors!): Frankincense to help ground and balance the energy that is being taken in and sampled all day.

In Conclusion

Knowing yourself as a parent is just as important as knowing your child. Know your limitations, know the nature of your own energetic design and become comfortable with who you are. The most important gift you can give to your child is your own full self-actualization.  If they see you do it, they will believe it’s possible for themselves.

Learn new parenting strategies. If you don’t like the way you were raised or your own default societal patterning, then embark on a journey of experimentation.  As with anything new, it will take a little practice and time, but it will be well worth it. You and your children alike deserve to fully enjoy life as your unique, authentic selves.

If you would like to learn more about any of the 5 Human Design Types, get the guidebook for each type in the compiled collection.

Sources: Quantum Alignment System Certification & “Essential Oils & Emotions” book.

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